You're Not Alone If You're Socially Awkward (Part 2)

Social awkwardness can be improved

Exhibit A would be the many people who will tell you they used to be really shy or awkward or isolated when they were younger, and who have now mostly moved past it. The late bloomer path is not an unusual one to take through life. Exhibit B would be the research done by psychologists and other mental health professionals that show that issues such as shyness, social skills weaknesses, and Social Anxiety Disorder are quite treatable. There are some mental health concerns that don't have the best prognosis. The ones related to social awkwardness aren't in that category. That's not to say it's not sometimes a lengthy or difficult process to make improvements, but the potential is there.

The reason the outlook is so good is that social problems are often related to skills deficits or fears and anxiety. If someone has a skills deficit, probably because they missed out on a bunch of social experience when they were younger, they can consciously practice and make up for lost time. Like with picking up any new skill, it feel ungainly at first, but it can be done. It's not that some people have it, and others don't, and if you don't have good social skills by a certain age then you should just give up. Fears and anxiety are also something where if you work at it you can take a huge bite out of them. There are some pretty established, effective ways to deal with that issue. Specific phobias are one of the more treatable psychological conditions.

Another big player in social awkwardness are feelings of insecurity and low self-confidence. There are ways to address those barriers as well. Also, by improving your skills and getting past your fears, you'll rack up more positive experiences, which will naturally work to increase your confidence. Some social issues are also fed by inaccurate, sabotaging beliefs about the world. That's yet another area that can be corrected. Sometimes a person will change their attitude just by being exposed to another perspective. They'll immediately recognize a mistake in their thinking they had been making. At other times their worldview is more ingrained, but by having new, positive experiences, it will eventually weaken and be replaced by a more constructive one.

While there are plenty of reasons to be optimistic, none of this is to downplay or minimize how difficult working on their social issues may be for some people, or how discouraged they may be if they already feel like they've tried really hard with little to show for it. I'll admit some people will have a much harder time improving their social situation than others. However, for your typical person struggling with social awkwardness, I feel totally confident in saying that if they work on it things are likely to improve.