the magic trick

a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.

Gold

This is probably one of the best posts I’ve ever seen

*male writer voice*

*male writer voice* i don’t remember her name. it’s not important. i met her at a supermarket and she went home with me because i offered to buy her cigarettes. she had amazing perky breasts. we drank cheap wine and had sex three times that night and then she told me she wanted to be a mosquito because they were free. i slept with her many times after that. but one day she stopped returning my calls and i don’t know why. that was seven years ago. on monday she got hit by a BRT and died. i saw it in the news so i went to her funeral and it made me sad. i don’t know why. i hate my father even though he pays my rent while i write poetry about masturbating in the shower

The Dictator

It is almost 2 AM,  why am I on the internet this trash garbage is too good though and I am sleepy but I absolutely must share this plot for one of my books;

"...a President accidentally makes a new law that anyone shorter than him gets executed but he accidentally makes it an amendment to the constitution so it applies to future presidents too, in the next elections there's a frenzy of people voting for the shortest president so they don't die and this is how they end up electing a 3 foot tall man named Pinwheel Patrick who goes on to become the most tyrannical dictator the world has ever seen"

Advanced court tactix.

The chapbook..."All sides of the story"

Lately my friends and I have been talking chapbooks a lot. I’ve written a lot of poetry, but I’ve never compiled a chapbook. That’s been on my mind a lot lately, and crazily enough people do ask me if I have a book out. Yes, I should do a chapbook. It’s been on my list. And now, It's done. Here's my humble attempt at a chapbook, "All sides of the story".
Enjoy.