I need help.

I’m so fucking weird
It’s like:
I’m the nicest rude person you’ll ever meet.
I don’t give a fuck about anything but at the same time, I care about a lot.
I hate people but I want to be everyone’s friend.
I hate myself but I’m completely fabulous.

communication is key

If you’re in a relationship and your girlfriend/boyfriend asks you “are you okay?”

 Don’t lie to them. If y'all are in love, tell them what’s bothering you. They care. It’s okay to be vulnerable with them. Don’t tell them “yea I’m okay” and you’re not, because then you’ll be mad at them for not understanding your hurt when YOU HAVEN’T EVEN EXPLAINED IT to them. People can’t read minds. Give them the chance to listen, give them the chance to understand. Let them love you okay, communication is key.

The Rants (1)

I couldn’t care less about your religion or sexual orientation or race or whether you’re a virgin or have slept with 400 people or have done time in jail

but the moment you eat my leftovers without asking that’s when i decide you’re a terrible person

It’s your responsibility to care for yourself

I want to emphasize the importance of surrounding yourself with people who take care of you unconditionally and feel genuinely proud of your entity floating in their lives.

things that mean a lot to me but I will never mention

• Goodnight/ good morning texts 
• I miss you’
• I hope you’re okay’s
• thinking about you 
• when someone goes out of their way to show you they care
• when someone shows a real interest in you
• feeling wanted
• feeling like what you feel is validated 
•feeling important

“do you really think that lowly of yourself?”

it’s so awkward being asked “do you really think that lowly of yourself?” 
because no? of course not? buddy, i was just.. kidding around.. haha, funny, haha? humor, you know? 
but also truthfully: yeah. absolutely. without a doubt. hold up a handful of dirt & one individual speck of it has more worth & purpose than i could ever even begin to hope to have but, you know! 
anyhow! nice weather we’re having right?

You deserve someone who is good

Learn the difference between a nice partner and a good partner. someone can be sweet, funny, kind and attentive and still make a horrible partner. don’t let basic interaction and appearance be all you judge on; if things are even a little off, acknowledge the problems and know to keep a look out for yourself. You deserve someone who is good.

Help with formatting

Why do we admire the people who ignore us the most?
Why do we feel like we need those people in order to feel whole
Knowing that person does nothing but disappoint our souls
Making us feel empty
Yet we keep going back for more as if they will fill us with something new
“People are not medicine” but I say otherwise
It all depends on the person whether they bring you up or down
If they have that much power to make you feel more than something
Yes they are medicine they can cure you
That’s what medicine is supposed to do
Cure me and you
But what am I saying?
I want to be whole again but I’m getting it from the wrong people
It took me awhile to realize that
I’m still realizing the lies people have filled me up inside
Maybe that’s why I thought I felt whole when I was really empty
Taking whatever word it was to feel something

We are strangers with memories.

  It saddens me to admit this, but our soul purpose for one another now is convenience. We exist as a conventional mean for each other. There’s no emotional connection. There’s no mental connection. I don’t know who you are anymore, and you don’t know me. We are just there, in each other’s company, because of our mutual group of friends. Outside of this niche, you and I exist separately, where you are your own person and I am mine. We no longer coexist to where our paths would intertwine because we wanted it to. Our presence in each other’s lives are solely due to the presence of others. You don’t go out of your way to see me, and I no longer go out of mine to see you. So what are we now? A means to an end? Conventional acquaintances? Strangers?

Go ahead

Go ahead and take a swing at my self esteem just like everyone else 

Go ahead and ignore my texts and calls just like everyone else

Go ahead and make me addicted to you just to leave me hanging for more just like everyone else

Go ahead and tell me you won’t leave and then leave the next second just like everyone else

Go ahead and tell me you don’t mind me being clingy and run away the moment I cling onto you just like everyone else

 

Go ahead and treat me like everyone else and see me treat you just like I treat everyone else

When it comes to you

There are two ways your heart can explode.

1. The kind that’s full of excitement and anxiety. Where it feels like all of the butterflies in your stomach are flying into your heart to nest, and eventually your heart becomes so full of butterflies that it’ll explode. Yeah, the kind that’s filled with adrenaline and leaves you euphoric. The kind where year heart feels like it has so much love that it can no longer contain, and so it bursts.

2. Then there’s the saddest of them all. The kind where your lover is holding your heart in their hands and their grip becomes tighter and tighter until your heart stops beating, and it just bursts from all the pressure. The painful kind. The kind that leaves you feeling empty, broken, and hurt. The kind where your lover knows that they are hurting you, but it just can’t be stopped, and what’s left is a hole where your heart used to be.

Pick me. Choose me

I don’t understand why you settle for less than what you deserve. 
I’m here waiting and willing to rip my heart out for you if you’d just ask. 
I want to give you all of the time that I have left in this lifetime. 
I want to give you a love so great that it will put great love stories to shame. 
I want to show you the world and I want to show you off to the world. 
I want to do so many thing for you, to you, and with you if you’d just let me.

I hate how I’ve given you the ability to destroy me.

I hate how I’ve become so attached to you. I’m not this person. I don’t sit around waiting for a text or a response. I don’t stare at my phone every 5 minutes just to see if you have messaged me or whether or not you’re active on social media. I don’t look at old pictures and try to relive old memories in my head. I don’t get sad if we don’t talk for a day or more. This isn’t me, but lately that’s who I’ve been. I hate this. I hate how I’ve made you so important in my life.