The Pope vs the Jews

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community...

If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave.

The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise Rabbi to represent them in the debate.

However, as the Rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Hebrew, they agreed that it would be a 'silent' debate.

On the chosen day, the Pope and the Rabbi sat opposite each other.

The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.

The Rabbi looked back and raised one finger.

Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head.

The Rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine.

The Rabbi pulled out an apple.

With that, the Pope stood up and declared himself beaten and said that the Rabbi was too clever.

The Jews could stay in Italy!

Later the cardinals met with the Pope and asked him what had happened.

The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up a single finger to remind me there is still only one God common to both our beliefs. Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us. Finally, I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us of all our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin. He bested me at every move and I could not continue!"

Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the Rabbi how he had won.

"I don't have a clue!!!" the Rabbi said.

"First, he told me that we had three days to get out of Italy, so I gave him the finger. Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews, so I told him that we were staying right here."

"And then what?" asked a woman.

"Who knows!!" said the Rabbi. "He took out his lunch, so I took out mine!" 

Heist

 

Boundaries

 We all know the very basic rule: Give some to get some. We have heard it recited on so many occasion, but to live by it’s meaning implies:

If you are only accepting but not giving back just as much, you have created an imbalance that will eventually destroy your love. That one should be obvious.

And here is the flip side:

If you are giving and not getting as much in return, again the imbalance will eventually destroy your love.

Therefore if you go too far in pleasing the other person, you will inevitably create resentment in yourself. And resentment has a way of festering in you and eating away the whole foundation until nothing is left but (self-)loathing.

This is why putting up boundaries is essential. Those are your limits, and beyond those there is no true compromise possible that would come without resenting the hell out of each other. It’s not always possible to stick to them, but it should be a rare occurrence and not the norm.

Communicate your boundaries frequently. Talk to your partner. Get to know your partner’s boundaries too. Knowing them and respecting each other’s boundaries will strengthen your partnership, if you are compatible to begin with.