Then and now.

A modern love letter is when he posts a picture of you on his Instagram with the hashtag WCW. True romance these days is when he orders seamless to your apartment when you’re having a bad day and he can’t be there. Showing he cares in this day and age is when he keeps your snap streak going and responds to your texts right away. Honesty and loyalty today can be measured by whether or not he has read reciepts on for you or if he lets you see his location on the Snapchat map. And 20 years ago, no part of this paragraph would make any sense, yet people were still able to show love and affection and have healthy relationships without the distractions of technology. So maybe we don’t need any of that either.

A Lover’s Discourse.

Am I in love? – Yes, since I’m waiting. The other never waits. Sometimes I want to play the part of the one who doesn’t wait; I try to busy myself elsewhere, to arrive late; but I always lose at this game: whatever I do, I find myself there, with nothing to do, punctual, even ahead of time. The lover’s fatal identity is precisely: I am the one who waits.

it Knows

It’s interesting what random numbers I never forget- the amount of money on my metro card even though I use it once a week, my grandma’s phone number even though she’s long gone, the date I met you even though I’ve had more special days. And it’s interesting what important things I let myself forget- your birthday, my favorite teachers’ names, my previous address. But it just goes to show you that sometimes your brain chooses what’s worthy of its space and you just have to trust it knows what’s best for you.

I wrote this for you

Dear Stranger,

It’s been a while since we’ve talked.
I know the days keep coming
like the dam broke
and I’ve used all my fingers
to try to stop it. 
We’ve got time wading
around our ankles.

How have you been these days?
I think of you when the moon
is round and full;
how so few things can escape
from being touched by it.
Whether you’d like to admit it or not,
you’re like that, too.
So far away and knowing.
So quiet and glowing.

I know, at some point, 
I will have to end these ramblings,
this self-talk to a stranger,
but it won’t be today.
I will keep writing until you know
that you’re never too much,
never unnoticed,
never not thought about. 

So, ‘til we meet or miss each other again,

Yours.

I wrote this for me

If you set yourself a goal and work toward it, you are using clock time. You are aware of where you want to go, but you honor and give your fullest attention to the step that you are taking at this moment. If you then become excessively focused on the goal, perhaps because you are seeking happiness, fulfillment, or a more complete sense of self in it, the Now is no longer honored. It becomes reduced to a mere stepping stone to the future, with no intrinsic value. Clock time then turns into psychological time. Your life’s journey is no longer an adventure, just an obsessive need to arrive, to attain, to “make it.” You no longer see or smell the flowers by the wayside either, nor are you aware of the beauty and the miracle of life that unfolds all around you when you are present in the Now.

Just Start

Start now. Start where you are. Start with fear. Start with pain. Start with doubt. Start with hands shaking. Start with voice trembling but start. Start and don’t stop. Start where you are, with what you have. Just… start.

Know that you can start late, look different, be uncertain, and still succeed.

Helping People

My mother taught me never to give unsolicited advice, nor try to help anyone unless they ask you for it. I always thought that maybe she was just cold. As I get older, I have started to realize that she was right. My mother is one of the kindest people in my life. Society always emphasizes on the need to help people. I do it too.

They tell you that you should help people unconditionally and when they least expect it. None of that is, of course, wrong. Random acts of kindness can change a person’s life in many instances. However, there is a flip side to every coin. And it is essential not to mask the other half of the impact of any such gesture.

Not everything is bad. Same as, not everything is good. There is the good in bad. And there is the bad in good. It’s not necessarily the worst idea to help people. But it’s also neither a great one.

Stop Helping People Who Don’t Deserve Your Help

It’s not always an easy thing to do. We were taught helping people is the right thing to do. You need to unlearn this popular belief.

“As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.” ~ Sam Levenson

If they don’t think my time is worth any value, then I don’t have time for them! If people don’t care about you, you shouldn’t help them. They don’t deserve your help.

Remember, the first person you need to help is YOURSELF.

If helping people makes you unhappy, don’t do it. Simple.

Sometimes you have to be selfish and put yourself before anyone else. Ignore what society is urging you to do.

Stop Helping People Who Don’t Appreciate Your Help

The easiest way to turn your friend into an enemy is offering them advice they don’t want to hear.

When I offer someone my help, I actually want to help. But a lot of the time, people are not ready to accept my help. It is normal. Everything takes time to change and most people don’t want it.

You shouldn’t offer advice when people are not prepared to entertain it, or they could one day come back and blame you when it doesn’t work out for them.

I stopped helping people who don’t want my help. Less drama, more time for myself.

Stop Helping People If You Can’t Put 100% Into It

This is the most critical one. Offering someone help when you are not ready to help is a big no-no. I have done this so many times, and until today I still regret doing it.

Helping people when you don’t have the skills or time will do more harm than good.

Offering help when you can’t do a good job will do more harm than good. It’s like being blind and teaching someone else how to paint. You make people miss the opportunities to find better help. Your kindness can hurt people too, in some instances. One of the easiest ways to destroy a relationship is by offering help that you can’t deliver.

At the end of the day, everything can be good or bad. We all need to strive to find the right balance between the two.

Always think it through carefully, before you offer to help someone else. If you don’t, it has the potential to cost you your time, your money and the relationships you hold dear to yourself (personal or professional).

A random act of kindness can change someone’s life, but it can also destroy one too.

If you help the wrong people, you can miss the opportunities to help the right people. Think before you help.