What You’re Saying When You Give Someone the Silent Treatment

Silent treatment is the refusal to communicate verbally and electronically with someone who is willing to communicate – Wikipedia

People who use the silent treatment may even refuse to acknowledge the presence of the other person. 

It can sometimes be a form of emotional abuse. This is the case when one person uses it to control and manipulate the other.

If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where you couldn’t get someone to talk to you, or even acknowledge you, you’ve experienced the silent treatment. You may even have given it yourself at some point.

 

People use the silent treatment for a number of reasons. These include:

•          Avoidance: In some cases, people stay silent in a conversation because they do not know what to say or want to avoid conflict.
•          Communication: A person may use the silent treatment if they do not know how to express their feelings but want their partner to know that they are upset.
•          Punishment: If a person uses silence to punish someone or to exert control or power over them, this is a form of emotional abuse.

But some people use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance. If you’re on the receiving end of this kind of treatment, you might feel completely ostracized.

People who use the silent treatment as a means of control want to put you in your place. They’ll give you the cold shoulder for days or weeks on end to achieve those goals. This is emotional abuse.

Healthy mature adults communicate their disagreements. If a behavior bothers them, it is encouraged to talk about it. It isn’t viewed as a threat. That is the sign of a healthy relationship and sense of self. If one doesn’t feel that they have done something wrong, they say something like "that was not my intention. Now that I know, I will try not to do it again.” The focus is on resolution. Both parties are comfortable taking responsibility for their actions, past, present and future (on the other hand, an abuser will never, ever apologize. Will gaslight, punish, or run). If space is needed, it is communicated.

Being noticed is so close to being loved, that sometimes they feel the same.

Being ignored is just as powerful.