Boundaries

 We all know the very basic rule: Give some to get some. We have heard it recited on so many occasion, but to live by it’s meaning implies:

If you are only accepting but not giving back just as much, you have created an imbalance that will eventually destroy your love. That one should be obvious.

And here is the flip side:

If you are giving and not getting as much in return, again the imbalance will eventually destroy your love.

Therefore if you go too far in pleasing the other person, you will inevitably create resentment in yourself. And resentment has a way of festering in you and eating away the whole foundation until nothing is left but (self-)loathing.

This is why putting up boundaries is essential. Those are your limits, and beyond those there is no true compromise possible that would come without resenting the hell out of each other. It’s not always possible to stick to them, but it should be a rare occurrence and not the norm.

Communicate your boundaries frequently. Talk to your partner. Get to know your partner’s boundaries too. Knowing them and respecting each other’s boundaries will strengthen your partnership, if you are compatible to begin with.